Presuppose failure to gain empathy with your prospects

by Lou

How to empathize with customersWhat’s the best way to sell something? Empathy.

Empathy is the ability to join someone, and not only see a person’s point of view, but also experience that person’s pain. You go beyond feeling sorry for that person (sympathy).

You go deeper, seeking to understand that person’s pain until you are able to feel the hurt (empathy).

This in turn leads to comforting and soothing that person, and if necessary pointing him or her in the right direction to avoid that pain in the future.

Empathy is necessary in all relationships, but it’s vital in business as well.

Many businesses are there to help people remove pain and problems from their lives.

And once you empathize with your prospects, they will feel that you understand them. And understanding is crucial for any successful business.

Normally, you empathize with someone face to face or over the telephone. But luckily for us, there’s a language pattern that achieves the same result. . .

Here’s the pattern:

No matter how hard you try, you can’t (THEIR OUTCOME).

This pattern originally came from the field of clinical hypnosis. Towards the beginning of the session while the subject was relaxing and staring at a fixe or moving object for concentration purposes, the hypnotist would say something like this: “No matter how hard you try, you can’t keep your eyes open.” Soon after the subject’s eyes would close.

But this language pattern has evolved into a tool for influence. By presupposing failure with this pattern you gain empathy. You start pacing their experience.

This pattern is useful in business in another way in that it presupposes that other companies (your competition) can’t or couldn’t help them either.

Here are some examples:

“No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to find a decent job.” (a resume/CV writing service could use this on their website or brochures)

“No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to find your dream home.” (a real estate agent communicating with a client)

“No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to find your soul mate.” (a dating service)

You could then go on to elaborate about the person’s pain and they show how your business is different and able to solve the person’s problem, leading them out of pain.

(Photo by Creativity 103)

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